Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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