Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
