its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
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I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
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GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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