She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Panties = found
Randomize
