I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
