so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize