last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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