apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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