I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
