I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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