From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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