just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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