I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
she peed on how many people?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
