This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
