I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
