i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
