grandma shit on top of the toilet
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
