i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
