I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
