The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm experimenting with sincerity
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize