He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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