I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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