Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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