I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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