I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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