ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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