her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
