Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
so much tequila, so little girl.
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