He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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