I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
