One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I think my moral compass just broke
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
