The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
