U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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