My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
