Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Did we literally take a cab across the street
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
