We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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