I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
