She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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