So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Farmville is her only friend.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
