I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
