I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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