I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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