my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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