The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I love having hate sex.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
