I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
