I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
