NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
