Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
