just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
