Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
