half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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