We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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