Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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