Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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