I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
