just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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