why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
