Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
