i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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