I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
