You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
